Few days ago was the 14th of February. The day set aside globally for the celebration of love (I wonder why they don’t declare it a global public holiday). Anyways, sadly or not, I won’t be participating this year (except for that cake I plan to buy myself). Honestly though, I’ve really behaved this year, I haven’t gone around telling everyone why I don’t exactly like Valentine’s Day and its entire concept – well, not until now that is. But even at that, I think I’m different this year, maybe it’s age or whatever but I really couldn’t care less about not liking Valentine’s Day. If you’re into it, go for it, if not, be like me and eat (the) cake (Anna Mae).
I really didn’t want to do this but then some smart-ass friend of mine just had to put me up to it … sigh… So, what follows is my defence. I really don’t hate Valentines Day but…
What‘s the deal with chic’s that claim “they’re not really into Valentines Day” only for their boyfriend/partner/husband to completely snub the day and then they throw a fit? I can talk about this one because I’ve experienced it first hand and I must say, I was awestruck. I just don’t see why we all have to set one day aside for showing/celebrating love. Why can’t it be five days or once every month? After all it’s “love” we are talking about here. So, that was pretty much the tone of my conversation with my girlfriend back then and she totally saw reason with me and I totally thought we were on the same page. Boy, was I totally wrong. She was inconsolable, throwing tantrums per hour until I ‘made up’ for my silly assumption.
What’s the deal with people shortening that word Valentine? Yes, I know it’s a freakishly long and weird word/name to pronounce but read out the following and tell me it doesn’t just sound terrible:
Will you be my “Val?”
Oh, she “val’d” me…
This year’s “Val” is turning out better than the last…
I mean, no offense to my brethren from the eastern part of the country but this is one time of the year when quite a lot of people sound like them.
What’s the deal with wearing red and white outfits? Like seriously, who told people they ‘have’ to come out wearing a touch of red on Valentines Day? Is it compulsory? Is there like some penalty for not doing it? Can someone please direct me to someone I can talk to about this freaking day and its rules and what not? Oh… yeah… the only person I can talk to is a flying grown man who looks like a baby?
What’s the deal with the flying, arrow shooting grown-ass man baby called Cupid. Ever wondered why Cupid rhymes with Stupid? (Ok, forgive me for that) But seriously, of all the people in the world, they just had to pick him to be the dude that runs this important day of ‘global’ celebration… Ok… moving on…
What’s the deal with the uber-cliched hampers? Yes. And it’s even more annoying knowing the “hamper” thing isn’t just a Nigerian or an African thing. It’s just that we probably make the worst ones. If one didn’t know better, you’d think the Valentines Day hampers are like some standard offering/sacrifice to the ‘god of love’. It’s pretty standard:
For guys: Basket, boxer set, (cheap) bottle of red wine, perfumes (maybe?), card(s) …
For the ladies: Teddy bear, (cheap) bottle of red wine, chocolate box, cake, card(s) …
And it’s the same freaking thing every single year. I mean, where’s our imagination?
What’s the deal with the request shows? And no, it’s not just on radio. Last year, I tuned in to one of our local TV stations and the presenter (who made it so obvious she was pissed to be at work) tried as much as she could to sound giddy as she took phone calls from ‘lovers’ all over the country. How exciting. The radio shows are even worse, especially when they do those poetry and singing competitions for people to win stuff for their partners. Splendid.
Anyways, I’m not the “Vals Day” Grinch just incase you were wondering.
Before all the mushiness and all the sweet things kick in tomorrow, I’d like to hear from others like me out there, what are those things about Valentines Day you really can’t stand? Or take it one step further and share your worst Valentines Day experience with us. You know the drill, use the comment box to express you.
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