Ladies: If You Really Like Him, Ask Him Out!

Dear Ladies, If you really like him, ask him out!

Let me just put this out there, if you think it’s inappropriate for a lady to ask a guy out, you need to stop living in the Stone Age.

An extremely biased world we live in, where men can get away with certain things that women can not. A world where certain gestures are only reserved for men to take. I say screw that. There really shouldn’t be so much expected of men, such as always making the first move. Women are capable of initiating ‘moves’ as well.

Hi, my name is S and if I meet a guy or girl I really like, I ask them out, all opposing views be damned.

We are in the 21^st century where women can work; get paid and even head multinational companies; women can become presidents and yet women are still judged if they approach a man they are attracted to first. What is up with that?

I am here to say that it is perfectly alright to ask a guy you are interested in out. There is nothing strange about it like a unicorn wedding or leprechaun bar mitzvah. So far gone are the days when a lady has to wait for a guy she likes to approach her, if he ever does. Take matters into your own hands, not every time wait for the guy to come to you, sometimes put on your big girl pants and go talk to the guy. It doesn’t make him any less of a man and it does not in any way make you a heaux. If you like him, go talk to him, ask  him out on a date, flirt with him In fact it sends a message, that you are a strong confident woman who knows what she wants and goes for it.

There is the notion that approaching an attractive lady to make conversation and perhaps take it further is only for a man to do. I disagree; let’s take some of the burden of the guys for a change. Forget what people say about women who approach men being morally loose, it’s a sexist notion.Who defines what is morally acceptable or not? I’m not saying jump on every guy who you find attractive and go and make small talk, no. I’m saying once in a while it’s okay to put your foot out first.

However, the issue of a woman proposing to a man she loves, I really haven’t figured it out yet as anything related to marriage is not my strongest area. I am torn between leaving the getting-on-one-knee marriage proposal to the guys to do just because tradition and having a woman bring it up over dinner with her lover like “Oh, the steak tastes really nice. By the way it won’t be such a bad idea if we got married”. Though I prefer the latter with no drama and all that emotional brouhaha, it’s not every girls dream because some ladies want that huge gesture but to me, the latter is way better because the couple will be able to say “We decided to get married” not the “He asked me and I said yes”

If Nichole Scherzinger had one day during maybe brunch (knowing without a doubt in her heart that she would love to spend rest of her life with Lewis Hamilton) asked in a fun no-pressure way about his idea of marriage and his idea of a future with her, MAYBE just maybe she won’t be devastated and crying that after 7 years together he didn’t want to marry her.

I have asked guys out on a number of occasions. If I see someone I like, I go after them if they don’t come to me first. I’m not saying put it in his face and come on too strong which may scare the guy away, I’m saying subtle hints work like a simple movie date or a drive around town (okay maybe not with the heinous Lagos traffic) just something simple and harmless. As for me, once I make the first gesture, I’m done. The rest is up to the guy and if it’s not reciprocal then good riddance and on to the next one.

If you like a guy and you want to hang out, just ask. If you’re sick and tired of wondering if that guy is ever going to kiss you when it’s all you think about; save yourself the sleepless nights and kiss him first. As an adult female it is also more than okay to initiate sexy time. Your man doesn’t always have to be the one to approach you; sometimes put the moves on him. If you still believe that initiating any sort of move is the job of a guy, then I must say you are living in the Stone Age. The world is evolving, perhaps, so should you